Picture Imperfect
by KTthegreyTwolf
Summary: Moxiety. Virgil draws as a coping mechanism, which could cause trouble when Logan finds out how he feels about Patton. (Also, this is my first public writing. I have no idea what I’m doing.)
1. A Dark Corner

His fingers clenched the sleeves of his hoodie. _They don't want you. You only hurt them. You bring everyone down._ He tried to focus on breathing. _No, they care. You're not the villain anymore. You ruin everything when Thomas is happy. That's all you're good for: ruin._ He tried to calm down, but nothing worked. Things were shapes, words were sounds, his fingers gripped tighter, but the feeling was just fuzz, it's not even fuzz the noise isn't here it's somewhere else my chest is tight where's my heartbeat _how do I breathe everything's broken they know they know everyone knows he hates you he hates you you don't belong here **why do you even live anymore it'd be better for everyone if you were just dead**_

A faded voice tried talking to him. Odd-but-familiar shapes reached for him, a distant embrace that he didn't know if he welcomed or rejected. He sensed a rhythmic motion; the only stabilizer he had to count his breaths.

In, 2, 3, out, 2, 3, count in head, stay in tune, chest is loose, steady now, breathing deeper, hold them closer, let them help you, you're not alone, you are wanted here, do not worry now, it's all coming back, shapes becoming things, these are someone's arms, these are _Patton's_ arms?

Breathe. The world pieces back together. As he rests his head on Patton's shoulder, he could hear his gentle voice more clearly.

"Are you okay, kiddo? What happened?"

The inevitable question. He opened his mouth to say something, but he closed it and sighed when nothing came out. How could he tell him? _What_ could he tell him, without making things weird again? And the shaking – still shaking, even after he recollected himself.

He took a moment to organize his thoughts just to tell him anything at all, but his voice was still distorted. Doesn't help that Patton is part of the problem. "I̵ l̵e̷f͢t.͏..so̸me̵thi͏n̸g̴ im͟pór͢t͞a̶nt ̛on̛ the c̷o̧unt́e̸r ̷w͡hen I̶ was ̕i͟n ̷the͏ k̢i̴tche̷n̴. Lo̷gan found̶ ít̷,̸ an͞d.̛..go̶d̸ ͢i̵f Ro͞ma͞n͡ ̵͘͠f̵̀ì͜͢ndş͘ ̀͘o͜u̧̕t͝͡,͢ ͘̕t̀ò̷ó́,͞ he'͡͏l͡͏̨ĺ ͢n͡ev̶é̷͟r ş͘h̴u͟t́ ͟u̸͠p̨ ͏àb͝o̵ut̶̡́ ̶̕͜it̨!̵̨͠" The distortion worsened with his anxiety. If Sir-Sings-A-Lot gets ahold of that drawing, he'll either tell Patton – no, everyone – about Virgil's biggest secret, or tease him relentlessly about it.

"What was it?"

An even worse – but also inevitable – question. "̸̵͡I͠͏..͞͝.͝͏Į c͡a̴͘ń̸̵'͝t t̸͢e͝l͢͡l̴̸͠ ý̡o͝u̸̕.͠ ̧I͘̕͢t̶'̕s̡͘, ̴̧u̢h͟,͏̛͢ ͜pe͡r͡s͡o̵̷̢ń͞a͘l̛̀͠.͘" He wished he could calm down again; his voice in this condition could give him away just as easily as his sketchbook.

"Well, maybe I can talk to Logan about getting it back?" he gently offered. "He probably just thought it was his and hasn't noticed yet. I don't think he meant to upset you..."

That proposition could go one of two ways: Patton could get the sketchbook and immediately return it to Virgil without looking through the pages, or _anything_ would happen and he'd find out about the drawings Virgil made to cope with his feelings for him. The latter seemed more likely, and he knew Patton would reject him, anyway. But he couldn't talk to Logan himself; a million more things could go wrong if he tried. All options were risky. The more time he spent thinking about it, the more he felt trapped into one option.

".͢..̡fin͡e͏.͘" The distortion was fading. "Ju͜st- ̛pl͢eas̢e ̛don͞'t ope̵n it, okay?"

"I won't. You said it's personal – I don't wanna invade your privacy."

"Thanks, Pat."

Silence fell between them. Virgil's body slowly loosened, letting him lean further into Patton's embrace. The warmth inside him swirled around, it's intensity matching the warmth against his body. He could hear his heart beating; slow and gentle, yet strong and somewhat loud at the same time. It seemed to almost match Patton's in both pace and power.

He lifted his head to say something to Patton, but his gaze flicked from his beautiful eyes to the dark shadows growing underneath them. A twang of fear shot across his heart. "You should get out of herè, P̷a̢ţ. Th̷e̢ ro͢o͟m̸'̨s͢ s̵t̷a͡rtin͞g t̀o ͠c͞o̸rru̕pt̢ you̸." The distortion started to return, this time from gaining power over Thomas instead of his own anxiety.

"Are you gonna be okay? You can come with me to my room, if you want..."

"I͡ th̡ink ̡I'̨ll͏ b̛e̷ ͟f̷iné. Yo̧u̡ ̧shoul̨d͘ ͠go,̷ ̀t̢ho̵ugh͘.͠ Q͜ui̕c̀ķly.͝"

Patton nodded, squeezing Virgil tighter for a second, then releasing to sink down and away. The silence left behind was strange and heavy. All too familiar for Virgil. He stared at the spot Patton was in, a looming sense of things shutting down without him. Stupid feelings. Stupid room. Stupid Virgil.


	2. But How Much Do You Know?

The detail is astounding. The anatomy is impeccable. The colors are absolutely stunning. Who knew Virgil could create masterpieces like these? The way they were crafted, the things they express, the mastery of every aspect in each picture – it's almost inconceivable! Perhaps he could talk him into letting him keep one or two for his room?

He turned the page, careful not to ruin the delicate medium. The picture on the right was much more colorful than the left, but he wanted to keep his consistent left-right-left-right scanning of the pages. Except, the left page was blank. The smudged colors that transferred from the other side attracted his attention, making him falsely believe a picture was there. He looked back to the right, and saw a finished drawing of...Patton and Virgil? No, that's definitely them. They were watching the sky, Patton leaning against Virgil, who had his arm across Patton's shoulders. A small heart floated above them, teaching Logan something he didn't know about-

"Hiya!"

Patton's sudden appearance almost made him drop Virgil's book. "E equals MC scared!"

"Oh, sorry, kiddo! Didn't mean to _square_ ya!"

He groaned at the pun and pushed his glasses back up. "Must you shout so loud when you rise? I almost attacked you."

"Sorry, I just needed to ask you something."

"Ask away."

"Do you happen to have a, uh... _something_ of Virgil's? He says he put it somewhere and you took it, but he really wants it back because it's very important to him."

Logan felt something strong inside him. He knew it was about the sketchbook, but that one picture raised so many questions he was afraid of asking. However, he shouldn't have investigated the pages in the first place. He already knew he'd done wrong, but perhaps returning the book could correct what he did...yet the questions drive him to learn.

He handed Patton the book. "It's this. I thought it was my notebook, but I hadn't opened it until now."

"Thanks, Logan!" he exclaimed with purity. "You didn't look in it too much, did you?"

"Not at all," he half-lied. While he did look at more than he should, it couldn't have been more than 7 pages. "But there is, um, a question I have for you. Regarding Virgil."

Worry spread on Patton's face. "What about him?"

"Do you, erm…" He realized asking such a question is much harder when you don't understand many feelings or emotions. "...do you, perhaps, feel...a _certain way_ about Virgil?"

Worry shifted to panic. "H-how did you know? Did Roman tell you? He said he wouldn't tell anyone! Oh my gosh, please don't tell Virgil! I-"

Uh-oh. Feelings. "Don't worry, Patton. Roman didn't tell me anything."

"Then who did? How did you-"

"You did, just now."

Patton felt like his entire body had turned to glass. One wrong move, and he would break into a million painful shards. "You... _didn't_ know?"

"No." He wanted to say more, but for once, he had lost his words.

He absentmindedly gripped the book tighter. "...then why'd you ask?"

A million answers rushed through Logan's mind. Instead, he adjusted his glasses and told him, "I believe Virgil could answer that much better than I can."

He looked away, thinking. What Logan said...that could mean anything. It means Virgil could've seen him staring when he thought he wasn't looking, then got suspicious and asked Logan to find out. It means Virgil wasn't interested, but Logan didn't have the heart to tell him. It means someone else wanted Virgil, someone he'd like so much more, and Logan wasn't sure who'd be the lucky one to date him. It means...Virgil could like him, too. The book had something about Patton in it, but they were both afraid of rejection, so he didn't want him to see. He didn't want _anyone_ to see. Now Logan has seen it, and it made him wonder if Patton felt the same way Virgil did.

No. That couldn't be possible. There's no way Virgil would...would he?

He looked at the book in his hands, the tip of his thumb grazing the edge of the cover in temptation. Virgil said not to look. Anything could be inside…

He said goodbye to Logan, then sunk out. Keeping Virgil's trust is more important. Even if it means he'd have to prepare for heartbreak.


	3. A Piece of the Puzzle

He finished the lineart, then stared at it. Of course the first thing he did when Patton got the sketchbook back was make another picture of his romantic fantasy. At this point, it was just pathetic. He knew he should stop doodling these things, especially now that his secret almost got out, but he loved being able to spend a few moments living in an impossible world where he and Patton could be so close and comfortable with each other. At the end, he'd always have to return to reality. The reality where Patton could never want someone like Virgil, and the drawings would stay fantasy.

Logan rose from the ground in front of Virgil's bed. "May I speak with you?"

He kept coloring, refusing eye contact. "Why?"

"I...have questions. Some of which regard Patton."

His pencil stopped. He glared at Logan through his bangs. "What'd he do?"

"Nothing yet, but it's only noon." He straightened his tie, trying to figure out how to say the dangerous things on his mind. "I, uh, must admit – and apologize – that after I mistook your _sketch_ book with my _note_ book, I did...look through some of the pages."

Virgil's head snapped up. "Why did you do that?!" he growled.

"Your skills are unlike anything I've seen before. The anatomy, the lines, the colors…" He cleared his throat, getting back on track. "I was captivated by your work. However, I did see one thing that I know I shouldn't have, and-"

"Don't tell _anyone_ about _anything_ you saw," he hissed. "They can't know."

The aggression startled Logan for a second, but he continued. "I won't. I shouldn't have intruded in your personal secrets, but I'll see that it never happens again."

"Good." He went back to his drawing. "You should leave. You're starting to get eyeshadow."


	4. Royally Screwed

"I just don't know," he admitted, gently tugging the sleeves of the cat hoodie around his neck. "What if he doesn't like me like that?"

Roman sighed. "Even _I_ cannot understand how you could fall for that storm cloud –" He felt Patton's glare. "– but I have seen the looks he makes at you! I've seen his smile for every joke you make! And now, even _Logan of No Emotion_ has brought it up, and you _still_ wonder if he'd turn you away?"

"I mean, he probably just wants to stay friends! Maybe he's not ready for a relationship like I am, and I don't want to force him into something he doesn't want!"

He grabbed Patton's shoulder. "He _does_ want this, Pat. Would Thomas help y-"

"No! Please don't tell Thomas," he begged, "Virgil would hear _everything_! I can't-"

Roman cut back in, "then do you want this love to eat at you with every move he makes?"

"I...no, but-"

"Are you going to sit back and admit defeat, letting your heart shatter when he moves on because you didn't take a chance?"

"No…"

Roman's voice boomed dramatically, "do you love him?"

"Yes," Patton answered, gaining courage.

"Do you want him close to you?"

"Yes!"

"Then you march over to him and tell him how you feel!"

He jumped up excitedly. "Yeah! I'm gonna _go to his room!_ "

"Yes!"

"And I'm gonna _look him in the eyes!_ "

"Yeah!"

"And I'm gonna _cry!_ "

"Ye- wait-"

"Because he's so _cute!_ "

"Uh, Patton-"

His voice grew fragile. "And I love him _so much…!_ "

"Woah there, papa bear," he said calmly, standing up to hug Patton, "we can do this. _You_ can do this."

Tears welled in his eyes. "I can't…"

"Yes, you can. Come, let's try again."


	5. Shading in the Lines

He switched to a darker color, thoughts racing as he shaded. Logan's the smartest, but he doesn't understand feelings. He doesn't really like Roman, but he's creative and knows a lot about romance. Either of them could be equally helpful or disastrous, but who else could help? He can't ask Thomas, either – he'd help the most, but everyone would hear what they're saying! That would humiliate him, or worse!

The drawing was finished. He took a moment to admire it, smiling slightly as he imagined being in that world. Lying in Patton's warm embrace, listening to his gentle heartbeat, playing with his fingers as they drifted into sleep...coming back to reality was more than crushing. With a heavy sigh, he stood up to put the supplies away. He triple-checked to make sure the colored pencils were all in the right spots and put them in the drawer first. The normal pencil went into its box with the others, and the eraser was just tossed into the drawer. It'll turn back up eventually, just like the other erasers strewn about the drawer. He turned to grab the sketchbook, which belonged- oh shit.

Patton had entered the room at some point while he was distracted. The sketchbook was left open, with the picture of Virgil's recent fantasy left out for him to see. He held the book carefully, wide and curious eyes glancing all over the image.

Virgil felt his heart drop when the page turned, knowing another image of them together was on the other side. His hands began to shake. Tears blurred his vision. He wanted to do _something_ to distract Patton; to delay the inevitable heartbreak. Yet, he couldn't move. Anxiety crept up, he wanted to run, grab the book, his breathing changed, the shaking-

Through the blur from his tears, he saw Patton smiling. He forced himself to wipe his eyes and saw the softness of Patton's expression. _Adoration_. Patton _adored_ the drawings, taking in every detail, perhaps even trying to live for a moment in that world as Virgil had done so many times before.

He finally noticed Virgil looking at him and gave him a beaming smile. "Did you draw these? They're so cute!"

A jolt of fear ran across his chest as he stammered out an answer. "I- uh- yeah, I-I did…"

Patton continued to talk about his art style, but his vision had focused on the shadow growing under Patton's eyes, which was more alarming than whatever he was saying. He didn't want to be rude and interrupt him, but he can't stay in this room for too long! If he does, Thomas will-

He snapped back to reality when Patton said his name. "Virge? Is something wrong, kiddo?"

There wasn't a choice anymore. He stammered for a bit again, then finally replied, "Pat, you need to get out of here." Patton made a heartbroken face, opening his mouth to say something, but Virgil kept speaking. "You've been in here too l̀on̢g.͡ Th̕e r͜oo͟m̕ ̢i̕s ̧co̴rr̨u̵pt͟in͠g͏ yo͡u͝. ̛Ỳo̸u ̧n͏eed t͠o ge̶t ou͟t̢ b̧efo͏re̕ i͝t gèt̶s ͝w̨ors̴e͝."

His eyes flicked around the room and the sketchbook. "Come with me," he pleaded, grabbing Virgil's hand on impulse. It only took a second for him to receive a nod in agreement.


	6. Finding that Edge Piece

Rays of sunlight beamed through the windows, illuminating every corner of the room. Sparkles of light seemed to float around like autumn leaves in gentle wind. Birds could be heard chirping happily outside, singing sweet songs. The couch they were sat on held them perfectly; not too soft, not too firm, not made of leather. It was almost inappropriate how wonderful the room was after what happened earlier.

Patton teased the edge of the closed sketchbook, waiting patiently as Virgil struggled to find his words. He already had an idea of what he was going to say, but he wanted to give him a chance to talk. He always deserves a chance.

Virgil broke the silence. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"I, uh...I could've reacted better to...y'know."

"Aw, Virge, you were just trying to keep me safe!" He looked at the sketchbook, running his thumb on the edge again. " _I'm_ sorry for looking in your sketchbook without asking. You said it was personal, and I promised I wouldn't look, and then I did anyway…"

"Don't worry about that," he sighed. "You probably would've found out somehow."

Patton withdrew slightly. "And if I didn't, you would've," he mumbled.

"...what?"

He sat up quickly, shocked that Virgil heard what he said. "I- uh- the pictures- um- well- when I-"

"Hey." He gently rested a hand on Patton's leg, quieting him. "Take your time."

The speed and energy of how Patton talked went entirely against what Virgil just said. "I just- I really, really like you, and I didn't know if you liked _me_ , and when I saw what you drew, I got super happy because I wanted us to do those things, too, and I- well- I just-" He let out a pitiful whine, then went quiet.

Virgil simply smiled at him. "I didn't think you felt the way I do. You definitely deserve better than me, an-"

"I will _physically fight you!_ " he shouted, tackling him with a hug. "You're perfect and beautiful and amazing just the way you are!"

He chuckled. "Are we still talking about me? I feel like you're just listing facts about yourself, now."

"Virgil, that's very sweet, but I also want you to _love yourself!_ "

"Can't, I'm too busy loving _you_." Patton responded with a frustrated whine. "...how about a movie?"

He perked up, smiling brightly with hope shining in his eyes. "Can we cuddle?"

"If you want, that's-"

"Yay! I'll go make the popcorn!"

Patton dashed into the kitchen, a happy bounce in his steps. The floating sparkles in the room seemed to follow him for a bit. In Virgil's eyes, they only accentuated his beauty. With a gentle sigh and a soft smile, he felt the warmth in his chest grow as he fell further and further in love.


	7. Framework

The sunlight shone on Virgil, giving him a golden glow while he slept. Patton gently ran his fingers through Virgil's purple hair, enjoying the soft and silky feel. The butterflies in his stomach still haven't gone away. It had been over an hour since they made their relationship official, but he thought the glittery feeling in his body would change into something...smooth. Maybe warm. Like hot chocolate!

Virgil sniffed, scratched his face, then moved closer, practically laying on top of Patton with his legs draped across his lap. He buried his face in his neck, hummed softly in content, then fell back asleep. Patton almost wanted to cry; how else could he express just how madly in love he was with someone so adorable?

His arms wrapped around Virgil's body. He felt warmer without his jacket on, but his body was still somewhat cold. Is he always cold? Maybe that's why he wears the jacket all the time; he just needs to keep all of his warmth in one place.

It was then Patton noticed he had spaced out, staring at Virgil's face and rubbing his back. The staring may have been kind of creepy – he's just so cute and peaceful when he sleeps! – but he knew Virgil was generally comfortable with him rubbing his back. It usually helped him calm down when he was panicking, or it made him feel better when something was wrong. Either that, or being pet on the head.

Patton's hand moved as memories came back, gently petting Virgil's head the way he did the first time he let him. He remembered the way Virgil relaxed, slow-blinking like a cat when he realized he actually liked it. Since then, it sort of became a way for Patton to show him that he was loved, even before he, well, _loved_ him.

"Cold," Virgil mumbled, bringing him back to reality.

Without missing a beat, Patton grabbed a blanket with his foot and pulled it up to cover them both. He felt a cold hand rest on his arm, and a small smile appeared on Virgil's face with a quiet hum.

"Thanks, ba-" His body tensed up slightly. "Um, Pat."

He knew what he was going to say. He knew Virgil was about to call him _babe_ , but he stopped. He knew, and he wanted to say it, too, but he wanted Virgil to be comfortable saying it first. That way, they could use other cute nicknames in the future.

"You can say it," he coaxed. Virgil shook his head in response. "Why not?"

Virgil started fidgeting. "...isn't it kinda...early? Like, we just got together…" His voice trailed off as he tried to find other things to say. "Wouldn't it be...a bit weird?"

" _I_ don't mind, but if it makes _you_ feel weird, then that's okay. It doesn't have to be right now."

"...you sure you're okay with it?"

"Of course! I'm your-" he giggled- "your _boyfriend_ now." He giggled again, vibrating with excitement. "Wow, it feels really good to say that!"

"I'm glad, because I'll be saying it soon, too."

"Aww, Virge!" He tightened his hug. "And if you ever wanna say any, y'know, _cute nicknames_ , I'm totally fine with that. Just as long as you are, too."

He scratched the back of his thumb, then rested his hand back on Patton's arm. "Thanks...babe."

With another giggle, he placed a kiss on Virgil's head. "Anytime, sweetie."

His smile grew a little brighter. "...can you keep, uh, doing the thing?" he nervously requested. "Please?"

Patton continued to pet him, letting him melt into his body with a contented sigh. After a few minutes, Virgil was limp, and his breathing became steady. Once again, he had fallen asleep in Patton's embrace.

The sunset shone on them, giving them a golden glow while Virgil slept. Patton gently ran his fingers through Virgil's soft hair, comforting him in his dream. The butterflies in his stomach had gone to bed, and the glitter in his body became smooth and warm, like hot chocolate was flowing through him. He was nervous – and he knew Virgil was, too – but when the world pieces back together, they will make a different picture than what's on the box.


End file.
